epigram 03: the Parthenon of dance music

It's so good.

In 1977 disco angels looked down from above

and blessed us with Donna Summer’s “I Feel Love”

Although it is true that accomplishments within the broad range of disco occupy varying degrees of tastefulness, we believe it’s a quantifiable, objective statement that “I Feel Love” is one of the best dance songs ever, perhaps the one that has been most influential in spawning covers as well as wave after throbbing wave of techno dance tunes.  It is the Parthenon of dance music.  It achieved a classical excellence judged on its own merits and also is flexible, adaptable and inspirational enough to have prompted a bevy of followers–some just pale imitations of the original, some inspired developments from it, some that just leave us scratching our collective head.

You be the judge: there’s the obvious homage of Blondie and Madonna, a sort of latter-day disco version by Curve, an offering from the pairing of Bronski Beat & Marc Almond (a duo that nearly makes our ’80s-loving head explode), a neo-disco version from Rhythm Masters, a robot version by New Deal, a special approach which could only come from the mind and throat of Klaus Nomi, one by the Oriental Night Fever project which has a cool eastern twist but is sooooooooooo slow, one by this dude we just don’t get, a fun falsettorama surprise from  Red Hot Chili Peppers, a noisy and bright version from the Blue Man Group and Venus Hum, a good straight-up version from this  band from Finland we’ve never heard of, a less-expected but still-good offering from this Canadian cellist, and while we’re at the strings why not a ukulele dude.

All of these covers were coughed up by a pretty quick (but admittedly awesomely funky) YouTube search by MoT‘s crack Digital Media Research team; no doubt dozens if not hundreds of other worthy covers are out there waiting to be discovered–or recorded in the first place.  All of them a testament to the richness of the precedent itself, and the richness of traditional idioms, whether they be built of marble or on top of a synthesized back beat.

epigram 2: on black granite in the kitchen

no.

White, pink, beige or silver; just one to exclude:

Never choose black where you plan to fix food.

Black granite is a tough material.  In memorials or, maybe, CFO offices, yes.  Kitchens?  No.  White marble, yes (especially if you are fussy about pastry); pink formica, yes (if you can live up to it); other spotty granite, yes (if you are rollin in da scrilla); the beige family of Formica or Corian, oh I guess it’s practical (if you’re the rest of us); black granite: no, no, no.  It’s hard to keep clean and is not pretty or handsome at all, just kind of oppressive and creepy if you have to live with it, especially in the kitchen, where it will become an instant disaster if you so much as set a coffee spoon on it.  Really, really forget it if you have kids, unless you plan to keep them out of the kitchen until they leave for college.

Under only three conditions may you consider installing black granite in your kitchen: (1) you are bothered by having a mirror-less room that will not allow you to admire your reflection, (2) you have a house elf or other servant who will spend an hour after every use of the sink and/or range to clean up, or (3) you are a Grand Moff.

he prefers take-out, anyway